Look at that girl. See what she’s doing, posting on Instagram? See how her life is perfectly curated? She has a baby and her house is still pulled together. She travels, she looks great, her family is perfect, nothing goes wrong for her. She always gets what she wants. Why can’t you be like that?
This is the constant comparison, making up stories about other people’s lives that I think far surpass my own.
Taking one post, one comment, one smile, one conversation, and turning it into better than I.
One person’s good day turns into always, every time, perfect.
I leave smaller, but not humble. I leave insecure, from a place of pride in working to achieve earthly perfection. A place of envy.
My husband tells me that I often say always, every time, never, everything absolute, especially when I’m criticizing, but also when I compare. I take a sometimes, a possible just this time, and I turn it into every single time.
But people show the world the person they want to show. Only the best parts. Why do you let that bother you?
I compare myself to other imperfect human beings, human beings who are, just like I am, made in God’s image. Made to be different than I am but somehow still the same.
But no, different means better.
Healthy comparison encourages, while unhealthy comparison slowly tears down.
None of us is perfect, none of us has a good day every day. None of us is made to be like the other one. But all of us are made to be like God. Comparison of ourselves with Jesus has turned into comparison of ourselves with Jesus’ people. The One we’re supposed to be like is swept aside for the other ones who are supposed to be like Him.
I willingly forget the facts.
If I look at God’s people, choose one,
that’s who I’m going to be,
I’m going to be wrong. If I want to be better than I am, I need to look at Jesus.
No wonder trying to be like her isn’t fulfilling.
Jesus is the bread, the light, the door, the shepherd, the vine, the resurrection, the way, the truth, the life.* He is the answer, not His people.
Imitate them, but only if and when they imitate Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1).
Then I’ll leave replenished. I’ll leave assured, from a place of humility. A place of my Shepherd’s rest and life.
There can be no unhealthy comparison with One who perfectly lived, yet perfectly empathizes. He’s not surface-level only, not Instagram-only. This comparison uplifts; it’s completely satisfying because He wants us to work with Him, to be molded by the Father. With this comparison we don’t just have always, we have forever, eternally.
We have a total paradigm shift.
I’m not writing any secrets to success or Five Ways to Stop the Comparison Game!. No delete your social media or find more authentic friends, as if distractions can heal.
If I only look there, on the surface level, I’ll try and try and try
and I’ll still compare.
But if I read His words, choose One,
that’s who I’m going to be,
I can’t be disappointed.
He’s the only One who is always, every time, perfect.
*”I Am” statements in the Book of John