As a lot of you know, I got married almost 3 months ago. It’s been the best almost 3 months of my life so far, but like everything else, it definitely comes with those famous life lessons. Both my husband I learn something new about each other every day.
1) Patience is everything. John Mark and I love each other very much, but being with another person 98% of the time does require patience. We pray for patience in everything every day (and thankfully he consistently reminds me to be aware of tests of my patience every day). Impatience sneaks up on you. It hides in your bad moods and then right when you need the most patience, it shows itself. We live in a very small apartment, which is actually a blessing. We’re always bumping into each other in our tiny kitchen or both trying to get ready in one room to go to worship services. If you know me, you also know tiny places are NOT my favorite places. Even though I’m a tiny person, I like to be able to have plenty of moving and breathing room (all very neatly organized), so this is probably this biggest patience-tester. Too add to it, I like constant communication; he just likes being in the same room. We organize things in very different ways; we like very different foods. Now, don’t get me wrong. None of these are bad things! And they’re completely expected when people decide to get married. We literally signed ourselves up for it. 😉 But compromises have to be made and patience with the help of our God is required.
2) Never, ever let yourself stay in a bad mood. You know how being around that person at school or work or wherever who’s always grumpy can automatically grate at your nerves, leading to your very own bad mood? Marriage is exactly the same! No matter what’s bothering you, you can’t let it ruin your attitude or your day because it will rub off on your spouse (or at least end up hurting their feelings) and nobody wants to two frustrated people in one place. That doesn’t make for a healthy home life. I like to tell people, “I have a lot of feelings.” I’m easily unsettled, frustrated, and annoyed – but I’m also easily amused, excited, and made happy! At any rate, this one is something I really have to work at if I don’t want to make his day miserable, as well. I believe that this can show him that I appreciate him and all of the hard work he does for our little family. Be considerate by being happy.
3) Communication cures most problems. We don’t argue very often – rarely, even. But if we ever do, it’s only because we have failed to communicate in some area. This happens in every type of relationship. Imagine if we all communicated perfectly with each other – wouldn’t life be at least half of a piece of cake? I think so! John Mark and I are open books, which is something I’ve always loved about our relationship. Talking about everything is extremely helpful. Talk about your fears, loves, hates, excitements, problems, or just about what happened during the day! So far I’ve been a stay-at-home wife (looking to be a work-at-home wife in the near future), so I don’t usually have much going on during my day except household chores, grocery shopping, getting dinner ready, and trying to get everything organized so our home is as neat and frustration-free as possible. I’m thankful that this is something I can do because I get to create a happy environment thats ready whenever he arrives home from work each day. I try to stay positive and present myself with a good attitude when he gets home – because, hey, this is a form of communication, as well! I also make a point to ask him how is day went every day as he does the same. Even just a smile can cheer the other up. To me, it’s the little things.
I know I have so many more lessons to learn as the years go by and I, by no means, know it all, but these are some of the most valuable ones I’ve already been learning in the first 2.5 months of marriage. I think these are just basic, everyday relationship skills that everyone needs to remember, but I’ve found they’re even more helpful within the marriage relationship – which is absolutely beautiful!
So, what about you? Any married people out there have more tips or realizations? Talk to me in the comment box below! 🙂
Photo courtesy of Elles Photography: ellesphoto.net